Heyya.

Nothing much.

Just to say hi!

Just finish watching a Kdrama called "Romance is a bonus book" yesterday.

It's about real life of book publication house. Basically how the book is made from scratch dealing with author, book editing and proof reading, designing, marketing till the very end where the book is disposed due to unsold in market.

The actor is Lee Jong Suk. What to expect, his acting is always top notch. haha. 

I'm curious to know about book publishing. Hence, I watched the movie. Love to see such a book lover because I just love someone who loves to read, good in using wise and beautiful word and for sure, it's not me :( I'm very poor with my word, expressing my feeling with word. Jealous much to someone who can write well and expressing the word beautifully.

There is something interesting from this series, I got a new knowledge, where there is one phrase in japanese, instead we said directly we love someone, we can said " The moon is beautiful" I just like. what.... how they're related? I googled it, and it said the moon word in japanese similar to word love. therefore, it's use to be a poetic way to say " I love you". Fascinating, right? haha this girl really lives in her dream XD

You know what. I always tell myself when I watch Kdrama. This is unrealistic, this guy is not exist in this world, this is not gonna happen in real life. No, no they just acting. Because you know the lead actor always so perfect plus the good looking. hahaha. I cannot. Surely, I can tell because I watched video in youtube where the korean said, what's in kdrama is never exist, it is unrealistic. Ok then i feel relieved. haha XD. 

In addition, I know most of us gonna feel insecure with how perfect their life is when we looking at other's life. Although we know, they just acting, and they're actors, surely they need to be good in term of appearance, lifestyle and so on so forth cause their fans always look up to their life, right. One day, I bumped to one of local actress where she said in her comment " Penat nak jaga feed instagram". I just like, ok.. celebrity also have this struggle. They need to choose the right content and well appeared for their socmed because all eyes are on them. Surely, I also can feel the same way if I was them. They have to fulfil the expectations of people. It's defo tired!

So for those who has this insecurity, this words is specially made for you,

The God who made the stars, the seas, the mountains and its peaks, the universe and the galaxies felt this world would be incomplete without you and without me. Do you see how you are a puzzle piece in the whole-- how without you here, there would be a hole? Your body is not just a clay tent that you live in, It's a piece of the universe you have been given. you're not a small star, you are a reflection of the entire cosmos. Can you hear the big bang in your heart? 80 times a minute got knocks on the doors of your chest to remind you that he has never left and that he is closer to you than the jugular vein in your neck (50:16)  Every moment  is divinely blessed, for this very moment God is blowing the Breath of Life true 8 billion different human chests.You're not the star dust and dirt,  you are a reflection of Gods Beauty on Earth .You are not this mortal body that that we one day take.  you are and everlasting  spirit held in the mortal embrace of clay.  You're not a human being meant to be spiritual you are a spiritual being living this human being miracle

ARU BARZAK, POET 

Beautiful, right?

Ok that's all. So long. bye~

Adapting New Phase

Hello what's up peeps.

Btw, Salam to all.Hiks.

It's been a while.

I always want to write something but don't have chance to write up.

And sometime the idea is not coming.

The excuse tho...haha. Procastinator alert

Just to update what am I currently doing rite now.

Alhamdulillah, I've started working officially as an educator.*clap please*

Thanks guys. haha.

I'm started on February this year. Basically it has been 3+ months already.

You know what.....

This thang is not easy man. The real world hit me hard. *sobs*

It 's really challenging because you deal with a lot of people and they're ignoring you.

Not all but mostly. 

It always make me drain mentally and emotionally.

When you put a lot and your effort is unappreciated. 

I just started..please guys. I'm hoping for the best environment.

But it turned out differently. I know Allah has His plan for me.

But I don't know what future may hold. I just have faith on his plan and doing my best.

Sometime, I miss my previous student when I was a part time lecturer back then.

They were really different than my current student. 

Eventho there were few of them sometimes being troublesome but they have respect towards their teacher. They're more mature I can say.

Yeah. That is only a good memory.

And now we must face the reality! Wake up!

Take it as a challenge for you to be more creative and independent.

Upgrade your skill and find ways, plus this pdpr time. hahahaa.

What can I say when students are studying without their teacher around *flip table*.

Disclaimer: Not apply to your so terpaling behave student yang selalu masuk online class and buat all your task, Pfttt. Pak Annoying.

Ini lagi satu.

Please be more sensitive la guys. You just told that people around you posting and ranting about their student not giving commitment to the class. You know that fact. 

Suddenly you bragging about your student who always attend your class, complete you task, yada,yada,yada. So what????? You want to tell the whole world that you're the best teacher? Pfttt.

Sorry guys. I just pissed off.

Ok back to normal.

I know this phase is quite hard for me and most of my friend.

I read their stories. So I know. Somes, told me their problems, we share the feeling together and we felt relieved after that. Eventho we were laughing when we told the stories and make it not so serious but I'm pretty sure, inside, we are crying. And that is life after all. We can share it to anyone but the reality we may face it by our own selves, make a step and see the result.

If it is turn out well, we're happy and if it's not we learn and improve. That's how life teach us.

Oklah that pretty much of my story.

I just pray to Allah everything gonna be well and easier for us,

I'm curious and nervous about the future, but someone said, focus on the present. which will determine the result for our future. 

Alright mate, till then. Adios.

Pause! Look back, Be Grateful

Hey! Salam

It's been a while, peeps.

Phew. Its hard for me to have an idea to keep writing.

It's November now. and its mean we are already in the end of 2020,

Seriously, 2020 is the biggest plot twist.

With the test that everyone in the world is still struggling right now.

Alhamdulillah, me and my family still in a good state during this pandemic.

And I know and am really sorry to hear and see there're a lot of people are really struggling in living life during this pandemic of Covid-19, I pray that may Allah ease them and grant them best rewards. Aameen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back these months, I learnt a few new things. 

Actually, Allah made me learnt these things by went through this new experience.

Alhamdulillah. I know it was purposeful experience even it was hard for me to go through but I know, He have a reason for me to feel it by myself rather than learn it or hear it from others.

I learnt to make a huge decision about my future. To be firm and and stick to my principle not just my feeling and emotion. To be grateful about my life and appreciate myself more.

From that, I got to study about many things. Truly grateful for that, Alhamdulillah.

I hope I will not repeat the same mistake in future soon. Aameen.

---

As I'm growing up at this age, I got to see, my friends is getting married and have their own kids. (Don't ask me, when, later I punch u. Ok joke :P)

Suddenly, Im thinking about, how does it feel to be a parents, am I qualified or good enough to be a parent? And I'm actually quiet scared about that. As I see myself how I treated my students at primary school, during my previous job. Haha. To be honest, its so hard for me to handle that kids. I felt like quitting my job, everyday. LOL. Then, this brought me to think how I'm being raised by my parents since I was a kid until now (still kid inside :P)

To be honest, as a kid, we felt like our parents not giving us a good attention or love to us by not buying things that we wanted, scolding us,make us study these and those things that we don't like. Not spending a time with us, not understand our feelings. Or am I the one who just felt it.haha. No carelah. 

But, in certain way, i acknowledge, that im living my life of less hardship. What I mean by that is, I'm always have a comfortable house to live, i always have a full stomach everyday. But for having this, we as a kids need to pay the price of our parents were really busy in weekdays from 8-5 and sometimes they dont have so much time to spend with their kids as they're getting tired of working during the day and need to have a rest at night. Still, I'm respect my parents for teaching me reading Quran and helping me with my home works at night.

On the other side, i realize that it was a hustle for them to work and at the same time to raise a kids. Because im experience myself working during the day, and nearly loss my energy at night.I always fall asleep early after Isya' cause working is really tiring. I can't imagine of myself going through that and at the same time raising a kids. I salute you working parents.

I know my parents have doing their best to raise us including all the parents out there. There's must be lacking in anywhere because nobody perfect, right. There must be the ups and downs along the journey. But, to be honest im feel grateful for them who make me the way im now. Raise us with full of wisdom, in this religious environment. Because, I realize not everyone raised up in this environment, make them take lightly about solah , about importance the deen itself in life. I'm feel really grateful for that. But, i dont say that im perfect. No. Still a lot of things to be improved. In shaa Allah. But hidayah can come in anytime, right?

When Allah give hidayah to someone, they will become even more better than us. I believe that.

So, basically that is my reflection for today and firstly for myself. Count our blessings and always be grateful. In shaa Allah ;) 

Why I chose to fly? | Don't judge.

Assalamualaikum and hi peeps!
Yeah I know the fact that no one reading. Haha XD

This just come to my thought and I need to write it up.
For my future self to remember.
So like the title said. Why I chose to fly to oversea?

Actually, I'm not getting that offer right after I finished my SPM and got the result.
I went to foundation in University of Malaya.
I got to finished until the end.
And you know what, by the end of my last semester, I undeliberately applied for this oversea program sponsored by KPM collaborated with IPG. I had no strong intention to be a teacher unlike my college mates at that time, they are really into this teachers thingy but no me.

They filtered the candidates with two interviews session.
Physical test like PE to see whether you fit enough to be a educator.
Also, the last interview like the normal one.

Unexpectedly, I knew I was accepted to that program is by call when i'm driving at the shopping mall. I'm shocking like crazy, and can't think straight and I said I need a time to make a decision. This is really beyond expectation, there's a lot of my friends eagerly waiting for this offer but I can say Alhamdulillah I got it. But I was blurred.

After istikharah few times and ask for advises from elders and friends. I accept.

Tak masuk tajuk lagi kan?  kah3. Muqaddimah haruslah power.

Like I said just now, actually i don't have clear and refine intention why I flew to oversea.
In my thought that time, I want to make myself and my parents proud just because I got to study in oversea. Look at me. Ish ish ish Astaghfirullah. Riyak Takbur.

Plus, at first I don't really like my previous study and forced to take it as what was offered to me by UPU. No choice. And for this time, I don't know whether I'm like it or not but better than previous I guessed plus the oversea mindset took over me. *double facepalm*. Pardon my past self. Ya Allah.

You know what, my wrong intention got paid!
For the first semester. I crying and sighing like crazy wanted to go back home.
I also calculated my debt if I really have to go back. Lol.
I felt like I was torched inside my head to digest all the study thingy plus the struggle to understand what the lecturer were talking about especially subject that don't have specific book, just depend on the lecturer. I thought I got only 5% input during classes. 
Memang rasa nak give up.

Alhamdulillah, after times went by. I revised my intention and asked God for strength,also bunch of support from family and friends. I managed to get it done on time. Alhamdulillah. I admitted this journey is not that easy. It got bumpy roads and sometimes you fell from them but Allah is Most Merciful, He sent His hands through kind people around me. You know, I'm truly blessed to have them until know. They are really kind and sincere to me. I am someone who appreciate relationship so much, please don't break my wings. Aha!

As the time passed, Allah slowly revealed His hikmahs from everything that He let me to passed through. Plus, Allah is so kind as He continuously give me rizqis without I'm noticing.

Astaghfirullah. My bad I'm rarely count my blessings. :(

(67:23) Say, “It is He who has produced you and made for you hearing and vision and hearts; little are you grateful.”

 

As normal human being, we're going through the ups and downs, right. We're tend to complains and less to be grateful. Little that we know, He never neglects us, and He know exactly what we feel.  That how this dunya works, to test us, not to bring us down but to lift us up. Just a little reflection. Urgh. 

Things is getting better now I'm started to renavigate my life towards what Allah have direct me. The journey still not stopping yet. Pray me the best to be beneficial to others also to be bold and mature as my age. LOL :P

Sharing you (actually myself :P) my graduation picture.

The formal one

In front of new building of YU.

Model dinding jadilah XD

Yay!

Hogward Graduated. It's Levi-OH-sa not  Leviosa :P

my 1st back bone

my 2nd  back bone

Ok, see ya!

Hilang tak Bernama

Kupikir sepertinya ada kala saat waktu dimana kita dihadapkan pada keadaan tidak mahu menjadi diri sendiri
Seperti penulis meninggalkan kertasnya
Pelukis meninggalkan koasnya
Nelayan meninggalkan lautnya
Petani meninggalkan sawahnya
Entah kerana bosan atau jenuh
Atau sudah sampai pada titik muak
Atau mungkin juga hancur
Kerana terus menerus berhadapan dengan diri yang itu-itu melulu
Kembali menjadi nol dan menjelma seperti bayi yang belum pernah bertemu dengan banyak hal buruk
Menjelma seperti anak kecil yang dilindungi dari badai dan petiryang bergemuruh
Menjadi menjadi sosok yang siap untuk diisi banyak hal-hal baru
Setelah sebelumnya terhalang dan terbatasi oleh diri yang sudah merasa penuh
Aku tidak begitu yakin, perasaan ini mungkin dirasai oleh banyak orang diluar sana
yang terlanjur bingung juga takut dan tak tahu bagaimana cara yang tepat untuk menyampaikannya
agar sama dengan makna yang serupa
dan berakhir dengan rasa yang hanya bisa disimpan
tak pernah tersampaikan
pada siapa-siapa

Kredit: Menjadi Manusia

YOU CAN'T DO THAT

hi. salam.

It’s been a while guys. How are you doing? May you guy always happy and always be in His blessings.

I just ended my diploma a month ago. Alhamdulillah, after being through one and a half year program, finally me and my friends did it! Now, I’m just take a long rest at home waiting for call for interview and we’ll be posting as a teacher.

Nothing much to say. After we finished our practical, our institute held a special program for us. It held in a week. We’re exposed to kind of new education development in our country and me and my friends just follow the schedule prepared. At the end of the program, our lecturer invited three of our group to be panel for a forum. I just don’t care because I’m not kinda hype person in the group. I just mind my own business at that time. Just before the day of the forum, there was still no name to be the panel for the program. Then our group leader decided to go for a draw. And you know that I’m selected! No! Let’s draw again. There’s must be a mistake. Then, my other friend wished “good luck, sis, you can do it”. I’m really not confident to do this. This is not my niche. I can’t do this. Im not good enough to give advice to others.What if I fumble in front of others, what if I’m black out at the stage. And the ‘what if’ goes on….

You’ve been selected.  there’s no turn back. Surely, the other won’t do that.  So, I’m forced to do that. I prepared a few answers for the question given the night before and just tawakkal for tomorrow.

The day is coming. Bismillah and I just do. The first question I steer the wheel well. But, after that it turned a bit messy but I’m just say what’s in my mind and my session always ended shortly than other. Haha. But Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Of course, there’s a lot to be improved, I’m not the expert speaker. Unfortunately, the audience was my group members as well and one other junior group. That’s not so much people at that room.

For others it might seem a small deal but to me it such having to prepare for a big battle. Haha. Over. But, kudos dear self. I’m satisfied and actually happy to do that. For at least, that is the time for you to spread maybe a good words or some positivity ( I hope) as you always want to do but don’t have a chance or to be exact you actually avoided it.haha. Just a gentle reminder to me and you. Always trust yourself, trust in Allah after you put an effort, bismillah and just do it. You may do a mistake. But, hey, no human did not make a mistake. You’re not an angel. Chin up. You go girl! So that’s all.

 It’s a milestone for me. so that I should keep it here. So, this is it.

for memory :)

10 Tips for Practicum | Part 1

Alhamdulillah

It's a relief that I finish my practicum!
No need to think about lesson plan.
No need to think what activities should I do for tomorrow's class.
No need to think about observation from lecturer and GP.
No need to think about reflective journal every week.

It's a freedom!
Let's celebrate it!

Hehe. All in all, I'm feeling grateful. Alhamdulillah.

Actually this post just a sharing from me about my practicum experience before it's expired from my mind. Hee. 

Reminder :  This tips are mostly applicable for ipg students .

Let's get started.

Ok untuk pengetahuan, praktikum ini ialah subjek wajib bagi semua pelajar IPG selama 12 minggu (3 bulan).
Basically, ia sebagai latihan mengajar di sekolah-sekolah terpilih kepada bakal guru sebelum menghadapi dunia sebenar pengajaran di sekolah.

Ok praktikum saya start right after raya 10/6/2019 (Isnin)- 05092019 (Khamis)
Balik-balik raya terus kena masuk sekolah, dengan mood dam dam dum bunyi mercun tak habis lagi ni kena bersiap sedia nak jadi kami guru malaysia ni.

Ok, let's focus on the topic.
What should you do for practicum?

1. Study.
Sebelum start praktikum saya adalah study sikit-sikit. Belek-belek buku nahu, sorof dan kitab-kitab yang berkaitan untuk refresh balik ilmu-ilmu yang dah belajar masa zaman degree dulu. Yelah kita tak tahu lagi, kita kena ajar tingkatan berapa kan. Just get ready! Focus on topics from their DSKP.

2. Research

I'm also doing a "kind of" research for learning activities in classroom. You know right, that our government nowadays promote the 21st Century Learning. Jadi kena banyak cooperative learning, active learning, student centered and whatever what not. Tahu-tahu jelah kan teaching thingy ni. Ok do some research ok!

Now, nak cerita mana nak cari this kind of activities ni.

First, boleh refer balik buku pedagogi yang kita dah belajar kat IPG. Aktiviti PAK 21.
Another alternatives , saya cari di Pinterest.
Pinterest ni magic apps la untuk saya. Just type apa-apa yang kita nak. Learning activities, evaluation, classroom management, etc. Poof in a second, dia akan beri kita suggestions macam-macam. Bukan sahaja untuk educations.
Nak cari idea untuk decoration, idea untuk memasak, tips untuk kurus pun boleh.tehee.
Just give it a try, nanti you akan addict. Hehe.

Sumber yang kedua adalah guna Instagram.
Di samping tengok ootd instafamous dan mencari baju kurung ironless (biasalah cikgu) banyak je info pasal teaching dekat instagram yang kita boleh dapat.
Kalau saya saya akan follow teachers' instagram from oversea. Depa sangat banyak idea buat bbm dan aktiviti yang menarik plus tips for class management. 

Ada few suggestions you guys can follow:

@twonewteachers
@fromthepond
@mederwbtsmarties
@grade3withmrst

Boleh juga, cari dari local punya website dan fb group untuk teachers.
Eg:
bahasasyurga.net (bahasa arab)
gpsbestari.com 
TcherCollection - TC (FB)

Idea memang banyak,yang penting guru tu sendiri kena rajin :)

3. Survey Sekolah

Kita mesti dah tahu kan sekolah mana yang kita dapat, so pergi sekolah tu awal sebelum tarikh praktikum sebenar. Lebih kurang macam lapor diri untuk kenal-kenal dengan pentadbir, untuk dibahagikan guru pembimbing masing-masing untuk dapatkan gambaran awal kelas mana yang kita akan ajar dan sebagainya. Biasanya, jadual yang lebih detail akan disusun masa minggu pertama kita praktikum. 

4. Cari Penempatan

Tips juga kenapa kita perlu pergi awal ke sekolah tersebut ialah untuk mencari penempatan. Bagi student yang tak dapat duduk kolej tu cuba risik-risik tanya pentadbir kekosongan rumah warden. Kalau ada rezeki boleh duduk free. Jimat sikit duit nak bayar duit sewa rumah. Plus, boleh spend beli bbm pelajar.  Fyi, bukan sikit-sikit ye duit nak spend untuk bbm pelajar ni :D

5. Stationary 

Make sure ada stationary yang cukup. Marker pen, duster, pen hitam/ biru, merah, stapler, puncher, beli siap-siap kertas mahjung yang sebundle, beli manilla card banyak2, tic tac yang macam playdough yang boleh lekat kat dinding, salotape dsb. Untuk tambahan, saya beli laminate paper jugak supaya bbm tu nampak smart gitu, laminator tu kami guna office punya je.

6. Equipment

Penting juga beli printer yang tahan lama ink dia. Untuk print bbm, rph, document2 untuk portfolio dsb. Saya cadangkan beli printer Canon G2010 series. Harga agak pricey RM 500+ tapi berbaloi sebab ink murah dan tahan lama. Dari awal tahun sampai sekarang ink tak habis-habis lagi. Advantage bila kita print colour-colour ni portfolio lagi cantik, boleh dapat markah banyak, plus bbm tak sendu, hitam putih sahaja. Kalau beli printer biasa tapi kena selalu top up ink pun harga jadi lebih kurang jugak ye dok? Ini untuk orang yang berkemampuanlah.Tak paksa.

Selain printer, LCD juga penting bagi meraikan penggunaan TMK dalam pdp.  Saya cadangkan beli LCD Epson yang boleh dapat RM1300+ di Lazada. Again, siapa yang mampu boleh beli sendiri, kalau tak, boleh pinjam sekolah punya sahaja. Not compulsory.


Selain LCD, speaker salah satu alat penting untuk pengajaran bahasa sebab kita ada belajar kemahiran mendengar. Jadi, tanpa speaker agak sukar untuk melakukan kemahiran ini. Tetapi, tidak menjadi masalah jika guru tersebut mempunyai suara seperti speaker.Hiks. Murah sahaja speaker sekarang ni. Saya punya harga RM18. Make sure boleh bluetooth atau ada AUX yang boleh connect wire ke phone atau laptop.

7. First Day-Introduction

Untuk hari pertama masuk kelas untuk taaruf atau introduction, jangan buat biasa-biasa je like bangun, kenalkan nama, tinggal kat mana etc etc. Boleh je sebenarnya. Tapi kita bagi nampak wow sikit, first impression kat student. So saya buat camni. . Kita boleh buat aktiviti sikit, cari nama student siap2, buat kertas lipat kecil2 tulis nama student, suruh depa cabut randomly dan taaruf kawan depa tu, sebab saya cikgu bahasa arab, so saya suruh depa taaruf dalam bahasa arab. Lepas habis tu, suruh depa ulang nama pendek depa dari depan sampai belakang. Of course, take timelah nak ingat nama tu kan. Slowly but surely ye dok.
Last sekali, kita bagi sticky note sorang satu, suruh depa tulis harapan mereka terhadap kita dan pengajaran kita.

8. Class Rules

Not to forget, class rules masa hari pertama. Boleh bagi tahu apa pantang larang dalam kelas. Kalau rajin buat satu kad manila dan tampal dekat kelas depa.

9. Lesson plan/ RPH.  

At least, do one day before your class or  kalau rajin lagi seminggu sebelum pun lagi bagus. Yeah I know, lesson plan practicum ni details dan boleh cecah 10 pages. Allahu. Syukur ipg bagi taip bukan tulis tangan. Tapi jangan ditangguh ye anak-anak. Nanti bila dah menggunung menangis jugak nak buat dia. Nanti buatlah folder siap2 by week untuk rph tu. Kalau nak work smart lagi labelkan rph tu kemahiran apa (untuk language teacher) supaya in the future kalau drain idea nak buat aktiviti apa boleh kopipasta sahaja aktiviti dan tukar tajuk. Lagi baik kita cari aktiviti barulah baru guru inovatif gitu.

10. Jurnal Reflektif

Untuk jurnal reflektif kena buat setiap minggu. Apakah jurnal ni? Namanya sahaja reflektif, maka tujuannya tak lain tak bukan untuk refleksi pdp kita sepanjang seminggu.Cari satu masalah tak kisah tentang, pelajar, pdp atau guru sendiri. Cari penyelesaian BESERTA kajian lampau tentang isu tu. (iaitu citation ye) dan kena ada rujukan diakhirnya. Penulisan juga perlu kritis macam kita buat esaimen. Jumlah muka surat lebih kurang 3-4 ms sahaja.
Ini juga jangan ditangguh ye :)



Ada banyak lagi saya nak share. Tapi rasa macam panjang sangat.
Kita sambung part 2 ye :)
Wassalam.