Hey! Salam
It's been a while, peeps.
Phew. Its hard for me to have an idea to keep writing.
It's November now. and its mean we are already in the end of 2020,
Seriously, 2020 is the biggest plot twist.
With the test that everyone in the world is still struggling right now.
Alhamdulillah, me and my family still in a good state during this pandemic.
And I know and am really sorry to hear and see there're a lot of people are really struggling in living life during this pandemic of Covid-19, I pray that may Allah ease them and grant them best rewards. Aameen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back these months, I learnt a few new things.
Actually, Allah made me learnt these things by went through this new experience.
Alhamdulillah. I know it was purposeful experience even it was hard for me to go through but I know, He have a reason for me to feel it by myself rather than learn it or hear it from others.
I learnt to make a huge decision about my future. To be firm and and stick to my principle not just my feeling and emotion. To be grateful about my life and appreciate myself more.
From that, I got to study about many things. Truly grateful for that, Alhamdulillah.
I hope I will not repeat the same mistake in future soon. Aameen.
---
As I'm growing up at this age, I got to see, my friends is getting married and have their own kids. (Don't ask me, when, later I punch u. Ok joke :P)
Suddenly, Im thinking about, how does it feel to be a parents, am I qualified or good enough to be a parent? And I'm actually quiet scared about that. As I see myself how I treated my students at primary school, during my previous job. Haha. To be honest, its so hard for me to handle that kids. I felt like quitting my job, everyday. LOL. Then, this brought me to think how I'm being raised by my parents since I was a kid until now (still kid inside :P)
To be honest, as a kid, we felt like our parents not giving us a good attention or love to us by not buying things that we wanted, scolding us,make us study these and those things that we don't like. Not spending a time with us, not understand our feelings. Or am I the one who just felt it.haha. No carelah.
But, in certain way, i acknowledge, that im living my life of less hardship. What I mean by that is, I'm always have a comfortable house to live, i always have a full stomach everyday. But for having this, we as a kids need to pay the price of our parents were really busy in weekdays from 8-5 and sometimes they dont have so much time to spend with their kids as they're getting tired of working during the day and need to have a rest at night. Still, I'm respect my parents for teaching me reading Quran and helping me with my home works at night.
On the other side, i realize that it was a hustle for them to work and at the same time to raise a kids. Because im experience myself working during the day, and nearly loss my energy at night.I always fall asleep early after Isya' cause working is really tiring. I can't imagine of myself going through that and at the same time raising a kids. I salute you working parents.
I know my parents have doing their best to raise us including all the parents out there. There's must be lacking in anywhere because nobody perfect, right. There must be the ups and downs along the journey. But, to be honest im feel grateful for them who make me the way im now. Raise us with full of wisdom, in this religious environment. Because, I realize not everyone raised up in this environment, make them take lightly about solah , about importance the deen itself in life. I'm feel really grateful for that. But, i dont say that im perfect. No. Still a lot of things to be improved. In shaa Allah. But hidayah can come in anytime, right?
When Allah give hidayah to someone, they will become even more better than us. I believe that.
So, basically that is my reflection for today and firstly for myself. Count our blessings and always be grateful. In shaa Allah ;)
